Tag Archives: newlyweds

A Respite

Well, the semester has officially ended.  It was a hard and grueling end.  I submitted both papers and had a final last night.  Today I did very little.  I did some laundry, some dishes, neatened and general life things, but for the most part I was an unproductive pile of nothing.  It was really nice to be an unproductive pile of nothing.  I wasn’t studying or panicking or anything.  I will work on filing away my school papers this weekend and take a load of recycling to the recycling center.  Then I think everything will be in pretty good shape.

We got married in February, while I was 3 weeks into the semester.  It worked out fine, but didn’t allow for us to take any kind of trip.  We are about 2 hours away from a city.  I was doing some random looking and found a tour of Jersey Boys that will be playing there this summer.  So we’re going to go to the city, see Jersey Boys and hopefully some other fun activities.

A broadway musical has some significant part in our history.  This is a mushy story.  We  first dated when H was 15 and I was 14.  We went to the same high school and were both in marching band.  We went to play in New York at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade.  It was incredibly cold.  The band director came onto the buses somewhere between 3:00 and 5:00 am and told us we would never remember how cold it was, just that it was wonderful.  I remember how cold it was distinctly to this day.

Anyway, we first started dating Thanksgiving Day of that trip and sat together at Aida, which was one of the activities for the trip.  We held hands and I remember being full of butterflies.  We dated for 3 weeks before I broke up with him.  We didn’t speak for the next 5 years.  We then bonded after an incredibly odd 4th of July party.

Because our first date ever was a broadway musical, I think it’s nice we’re going to see a show on our honeymoon.  I’ve only done preliminary investigation, but it looks like there is a winery nearby where we can have a tasting scheduled.  There are also some gardens and a zoo, so we’ll see what else appeals to us for our miniature honeymoon.  If nothing else, the show should be great.  I’m very much looking forward to it.

We may also take a little trip to Chicago this summer.  It will be a trip to spend with some friends of mine.  This one isn’t set in stone yet.  It is after midnight and I should go to bed.  I’m certainly glad I don’t have to get up at 7:00 tomorrow.

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Filed under Grad School, Love & Marriage

Togetherness Time

H and I have had some issues in the last couple months.  When we saw each other on weekends or for shorter visits, it was not a necessity that we be effective communicators on a regular basis.  As newlyweds and people living together for the first time, we have had to relearn communication as spouses.  Neither of us knew our communication skills were broken until they were really broken.  We had a few fights that led to some serious talks and as of this week, we’re finally in a better place.

We were never fighters when we dated.  We just didn’t fight.  If we disagreed they were short and amicable disagreements.  We can’t say that we don’t fight anymore because we’ve had a couple doozies (I made up the spelling of that word.) but at the very least, we’re getting through it and coping with the changes that come with living together and being in the same 600 square feet of space on a regular basis.

What it has come down to, is being present and engaged on a regular basis.  We love each other.  That isn’t news, nor is it something we’ve ever quibbled about.  We did not, at least not for the past few weeks, always like each other.  I ended up talking to my mom about it and she brought up a story my grandmother used to tell her when she was first married to my dad.  My grandma would say that a relationship can’t be 50/50.  It has to be 100/100 because both parties have to be oriented and engaged all of the time with full effort.

In the spirit of grandma’s edict, we have been focused on doing activities together.  We’ve gone on some walks because there are some great paths right near our apartment.  Walking is a great way to force you to talk to each other because it is so quiet.  We’ve also been cooking together (like with the stroganoff debacle) and cleaning together.  They’re small activities that don’t seem to matter at the time, but they equal both of us being happier, more informed about each other, and getting along better.

It’s ewwy gooey and mushy, but I’m glad for how well things have been going with the change of pace.  I look forward to many more days, weeks, and years with H, hopefully liking him most of the time.

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I guess I’m married

I love my husband.  I have loved him for years now.  It is just funny how things have changed now that he is permanently living with me.  He has picked me up from school twice, which is lovely.  We’ve cooked more meals than I have ever cooked alone, which is noteworthy and seem time consuming to me.  We have bought groceries I would never have bought three weeks ago.  Who needs two packages of roast beef?  Apparently he does.  I have even taken care of him while he’s had a cold and was being a great big baby.  It is funny because all of the things we’ve done have been activities we did before.  We cooked.  We bought groceries.  We took care of one another when we weren’t feeling well.  Now, however, now we are doing it as MARRIED people.  Weird.

I don’t mind him beside me when I go to sleep every night.  I thought I would get sick of him being there every night, but haven’t.  I am also glad that he’s willing to help with dishes and laundry and mundane things like that.  I’m glad he’ll still give me space when I need to do school work or relax for awhile.  Overall, things are going well, if differently than they were before.  I’m married.  Who knew?

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