I found out yesterday that my graduate assistantship project for grad school is being killed. I don’t know if that means the assistantship will be killed too, or if they’ll keep me and find something else for me to do. At the moment I am updating my resume and working on cover letters so I can apply for other funding sources. This has particularly thrown me for a loop because I am such a put together and prepared person. I have my funding. I have my coursework plan. I have everything put together. All of a sudden my nice, neat, little plan went away. I’m not freaking out, but it is not something I am enjoying, given the fact that I am also in the midst of classes with midterms sneaking up on me in a matter of weeks. Just saying the word midterm gives me heart palpitations.
What is ultimately the most frustrating is my lack of control. I cannot control this situation and make it better. I cannot do anything to affect the budget the state gives the library. I cannot make them cut something else over cutting me. I can campaign all I want and put a fight, but that does not mean I will be any more successful or less out of funding come June 30th.
I do have to say though, Husband was so supportive last night. I called him and told him what was going on. He wasn’t upset or anything. He was supportive, saying we could make things work no matter what happens. He even offered to pay less on his student loans in order to keep me from having to quit school. We went and got Chinese food for dinner and were mellow. I was so appreciative of him. He even said, “I am willing to make an investment in you. You are worth more than 9% interest.” I know it should be pretty common sense that I am worth more than 9% interest, but the fact that he is willing to put off paying extra money into student loans and instead investing it in school for me was a sweet thing for him to say he’ll do.
There are articles that talk about how people worry far too often. Some large percentage of what people worry about is completely unnecessary. I sure hope all this worry is unnecessary worrying.