H’s birthday was the 11th. I was taking a final the next day and submitting papers so I was completely useless and out of sorts. I called him and sang to him at work, but we did nothing else for his birthday. He always had finals during his birthday when he was in school, but it still makes me feel bad. There are things that I think we should do or that I should do that don’t happen or happen in a different way than I had initially intended and it is difficult because it makes me feel like I’m not fulfilling my wifely duties, which is an antiquated concept to say the least.
I wanted to celebrate him and use it all as a grand love gesture, because those are important every now and then, but it didn’t work because I was a stressed out nutter from my finals. Then we went to Iron Man 2 last night, which was really very good, but not an adequate grand love gesture.
Now today, we’re cleaning the apartment because we haven’t given it a good clean in a while because I was studying intensively all weekend long. My parents and sister are visiting next weekend so we have stuff to get prepared. I also tried to invite people out to dinner to celebrate with us tonight, but no dice. I don’t think it is a big deal to him in the long run, but I care about him and would like to help him have a happy birthday.
As a result, I’m 75% sure that I’m a bad wife, at least a little bit.