This weekend, H and I went to go see the Expendables. I was excited. I was really excited. I was excited because I love Dolph Lundgren. Maybe it is because we have equally Swedish last names. Maybe it is because I fell in love with his 1987 portrayal of HeMan, Master of the Universe. Whatever the reason, I have loved and do love Dolph Lundgren.
I knew Dolph would be in this movie, so we went at my bidding. To my delight, it was completely adorable. Perhaps that is not the thing to call a manly man, explosion filled, action movie, but it was. It was adorable. The characters were somewhat simple, but that worked out because these men were just appreciating being on the screen. Their joviality and delight seeped into the marrow of the movie (if movies had bones. Work with the imagery, here.) There were explosions, a girl who had to be saved and Sylvester Stallone’s really bad facelift, all to enjoy. There were also some good belly laugh moments. Who doesn’t like an action movie that makes you laugh?
I talked to my brother about it afterward. He ALSO loved the Expendables. Adam and I don’t often have the same taste in entertainment, so the fact that my manly man brother and my not manly man self both enjoyed it thoroughly, speaks to the charm and appeal of this movie. It has been #1 two weeks in a row now. This is impressive considering that people thought Scott Pilgrim would kick its butt. (It didn’t.)
There was one part of the movie that made me nervous. They help this girl to make her world a better place. They end up saving her from extremely negative circumstances. Then at the end, she and Sly are standing together and looked like they might kiss. This woman was maybe 25, tops. Sly is not at an age where kissing the girl at the end of the movie is permissible. Instead she hugged him and he went father figure-y. I will not lie and say I wasn’t worried. I was worried. However, there was no creepy kiss at the end.
I will try not to give too much of the plot away, but I need to talk about Dolph’s role a bit more. Dolph started out as a good guy, became a bad guy, (NOOO!!!!!) and then, when all appeared to be lost, he rebounded and became a good guy all over again. Apparently, he was the second choice for the role. Jean Claude Van Damme turned down the role. There is a portion where Jet Li and Dolph’s character fight where ultimately, Dolph loses. Jean Claude Van Damme could not accept losing to Jet Li, so he turned down the part. Adam explained this to me because I didn’t understand. Apparently, Jean Claude Van Damme never loses the last fight. He always wins the last fight, beating the opponent who has formerly beat him, by training. If Jean Claude Van Damme gets big enough, fast enough, and tough enough, he can overcome any opponent. His vanity didn’t allow him to play the part.
I’m fine with this dose of egoism and machismo because it left the stage open for Dolph to come in. I am hoping for an Expendables 2, so Dolph can be part of the winning good guy team all throughout. Overall, H, my brother, and I all give it 2 thumbs up for six total thumbs up. That is a serious amount of thumbs. Now go see a movie.