As previously posted, my grad school funding has been jeopardized recently. I don’t know what the eventual outcome will be with the library, so I have taken some steps to improve things on my own. I have applied to another position in a different department. As of yesterday, they want to interview me next week. This means that I am one step closer to having this debacle dealt with. On the one hand this is a wonderful relief. On the other hand, if the library is able to get funding figured out and I could keep my graduate assistantship here, it would be really unfortunate to have already made another agreement with another department.
I have loyalty to this library as I have already worked here for over a year and a half between reference and my graduate assistantship. If I get offered this other position, and that is a big if, I will have to take it, given that the library is not likely to know their funding situation in any concerete way for at least another month. I am not in a financial position where I can risk losing my tuition funding, insurance, and the paycheck that comes with an assistantship. Is this situation ideal? Certainly not. Do I hope that it works out one way or another and I can stop worrying about it? Of course. Do I think it will get any easier over the next few weeks? Nope. No I do not.
I did an experiment this morning.
I put beef stew ingredients in the crock pot and left it on low on the counter, just chilling out, well warming up, rather. I really hope that when I get home from work tonight the house smells like yummy beef stew and not something else that is unpleasant. I will feel bad if all my chopping and cubing has gone to waste.
We have been trying to cook more. As part of this plan we did a well planned shopping list with 5 recipes on it that we plan to prepare over the next few weeks. This includes enchiladas, beef stew, meatballs, carbonara, and fettuccine baked something or other. Thus far we have made carbonara. It was ridiculously good. I mean, so good. It was delicious and something we could definitely serve to guests if we are feeling so inclined. The one thing about it is bacon distribution. We have not figured out how to distribute the bacon evenly. It seems to just stay on the edges of the pan. Maybe we should try to take it out and then distribute it later.
Our cooking adventures are all part of a greater movement in our house to try and be healthier and active. This is difficult in the dead of winter when it is 4 degrees outside. Walking is not really an option, so we’ve done a little bit of fitness video/exercise bike usage. I want to make it a regularly scheduled event in our house, but that will probably take some time to get going because Husband is not inclined to work out without some severe pestering. His lack of motivation demotivates me. We’ll see how we end up progressing.
I know that part of school is examination and evaluation of learning to encourage dedication in scholarly work. This takes the form of midterms. Yes midterms. The exams halfway through the semester that make me feel a lot like this. As I am feeling somewhat stressed, I have decided upon a course of action. Monday and Tuesday is my great big classes push. That is done for this week. Tuesday night I took off. Wednesday will be a work only day along with some light cleaning and husband time. Thursday night, I will get off of work, work out, and the be studious and ignore Husband for the remainder of the evening. It isn’t pretty, but a girl has to do what a girl has to do. Friday and Saturday morning I will also be studious and hopefully get a paper draft accomplished in there.
Saturday night I will be having a fiesta with one of my best friends, along with buying a few new makeup products from Sephora. Then Sunday and Monday studying. Tuesday class and work. Wednesday will be a take home midterm exam. Then I’ll study frantically through the following Tuesday when I have my most frightening midterm. Wish me luck.
Here’s hoping I don’t end up like this.
I found out yesterday that my graduate assistantship project for grad school is being killed. I don’t know if that means the assistantship will be killed too, or if they’ll keep me and find something else for me to do. At the moment I am updating my resume and working on cover letters so I can apply for other funding sources. This has particularly thrown me for a loop because I am such a put together and prepared person. I have my funding. I have my coursework plan. I have everything put together. All of a sudden my nice, neat, little plan went away. I’m not freaking out, but it is not something I am enjoying, given the fact that I am also in the midst of classes with midterms sneaking up on me in a matter of weeks. Just saying the word midterm gives me heart palpitations.
What is ultimately the most frustrating is my lack of control. I cannot control this situation and make it better. I cannot do anything to affect the budget the state gives the library. I cannot make them cut something else over cutting me. I can campaign all I want and put a fight, but that does not mean I will be any more successful or less out of funding come June 30th.
I do have to say though, Husband was so supportive last night. I called him and told him what was going on. He wasn’t upset or anything. He was supportive, saying we could make things work no matter what happens. He even offered to pay less on his student loans in order to keep me from having to quit school. We went and got Chinese food for dinner and were mellow. I was so appreciative of him. He even said, “I am willing to make an investment in you. You are worth more than 9% interest.” I know it should be pretty common sense that I am worth more than 9% interest, but the fact that he is willing to put off paying extra money into student loans and instead investing it in school for me was a sweet thing for him to say he’ll do.
There are articles that talk about how people worry far too often. Some large percentage of what people worry about is completely unnecessary. I sure hope all this worry is unnecessary worrying.
I love my husband. I have loved him for years now. It is just funny how things have changed now that he is permanently living with me. He has picked me up from school twice, which is lovely. We’ve cooked more meals than I have ever cooked alone, which is noteworthy and seem time consuming to me. We have bought groceries I would never have bought three weeks ago. Who needs two packages of roast beef? Apparently he does. I have even taken care of him while he’s had a cold and was being a great big baby. It is funny because all of the things we’ve done have been activities we did before. We cooked. We bought groceries. We took care of one another when we weren’t feeling well. Now, however, now we are doing it as MARRIED people. Weird.
I don’t mind him beside me when I go to sleep every night. I thought I would get sick of him being there every night, but haven’t. I am also glad that he’s willing to help with dishes and laundry and mundane things like that. I’m glad he’ll still give me space when I need to do school work or relax for awhile. Overall, things are going well, if differently than they were before. I’m married. Who knew?
It took about 500 trips up and down a flight of stairs, but I officially have a live in husband. We have managed to fit all of his stuff into the apartment. His dresser, giant desk and bookshelf all have proper places. We have slowly been moving his things down to my apartment over the past several weeks. Now his clothes and various odds and ends have all come to live here, too. Overall it is going pretty well thus far. That is all the time for today, for I must do homework. Yay Sunday.
I am a fairly type A individual. I have always been a good organizer and aggregater of information. This served me well in high school and undergrad. It is possible that I have gotten lazier, busier, or just more aware of how much stuff I acutally have to do, but I must say that lists don’t seem as helpful as they used to. I used to make a list and methodically go down the list, neatly checking off little boxes.
Now the list seems never ending. Once one thing gets checked off, four new things suddenly appear. It is exhausting.
Moving husband’s things in